


Trailer

by Rubber Chicken With A Keyboard (RCWAK)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Script Format, Trailer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-27
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-08-18 05:37:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8150999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RCWAK/pseuds/Rubber%20Chicken%20With%20A%20Keyboard
Summary: If Homestuck were a movie...





	

**Author's Note:**

> [Visuals]  
> CHARACTERNAME: Dialogue  
> (VO) = Voice-Over

[Pan Left Shot of battlefield, covered in slain carapacians with BEC NOIR advancing.]

(VO)JOHN: Okay, I should probably start from the beginning.

[Camera zoom out on LOWAS, LOLAR, LOHAC, & LOFAF orbiting Skaia, Prospit visible. Continue zoom until Veil and Derse and the Furthest Ring are all more-or-less visible]

(VO)JOHN: My name is John Egbert, and I'm thirteen years old. I played a video game called SBURB, and sort of ended the world.

(VO)JOHN: It's a long story. A really long story. Oh man, where do I even start?

[Rewind SFX, flashing images -- Waking on Prospit, Exploring LOWAS, ROSE dropping DAD's car, etc.]

(VO) JOHN: It all started on a pretty normal day. April 13th, 2009. My birthday.

[Fade to JOHN's house, slowly fading/zooming to the bedroom window and inside the house.]

[We see JOHN in his bedroom. Someone knocks. JOHN opens his bedroom door to see DAD blow a little party blower and shove a cake in his face reading "Happy Birthday Son." Cut back to JOHN, looking rather nonplussed.]

JOHN: Um... thanks?

[Image freezes]

(VO) JOHN: Yeah, I have no idea what was with him and cakes. My dad is weird. And technically not my dad, either, because he's actually my--

[Cut to JOHN in front of a camera, narrating with a headset. KARKAT enters.]

KARKAT: Hurry the fuck up already, Egbert! This is the trailer, so unless you plan on being a spotlight-hogging shitpile, cut to the chase and tell them about the game!

JOHN: Alright, alright! I was getting to that!

[Pause]

[JOHN points to KARKAT, smiling at the viewer]

JOHN: That's Karkat.

[Cut to Alternia from above, both moons visible.]

JOHN: He's an alien.

[An arrow appears pointing to it, with the text "ALIEN PLANET!"]

[Return to recording room]

KARKAT: Was your title actually Heir of Breath, or just Captain of Obvious? I can't even remember.

JOHN: Karkat, remember what you said about moving this along?

KARKAT: Fuck you.

[JOHN laughs]

[Display images of the connections between the sessions]

(VO)JOHN: Anyway, we weren't the only ones playing the game. Some aliens did too, and their session got all mixed up with ours after some weird glitches, and now we've got an unbeatable final boss!

[A few quick images as JOHN speaks -- VRISKA putting JOHN to sleep while BEC prototypes himself, BEC NOIR transforming, the rift opening and BEC NOIR entering the troll's session.]

(VO)JOHN: Which was sort of both our faults...

[Trolls escaping BEC NOIR, fleeing to the meteor.]

(VO)JOHN: ... but was also inevitable? Time travel is weird like that.

[Trolls begin talking to the humans in four sections of the screen -- KARKAT/JADE (Top Right), TEREZI/DAVE (Bottom Left), VRISKA/JOHN (Top Left), KANAYA/ROSE (Bottom Right). They are clearly in the meteor facilities.]

JOHN: And now we have to break the game to fix it again... if that made any sense at all.

[Enter JADE]

JADE: Well yeah! Otherwise we're sort of screwed!

[DAVE pops up via turntables]

DAVE: Yup, pretty much.

[ROSE teleports in in a flash of dark power]

ROSE: I am in agreement.

ROSE: This session was never meant to succeed... but _we_ mean to succeed nonetheless.

[CUT back to KARKAT AND JOHN]

KARKAT: So there you have it. Some human kids screwed themselves over and we had to pay.

JOHN: SBURB doesn't really do "fair."

[Pan across LOWAS]

(VO) JOHN: But... it still gave us a chance.

[JOHN. RISE UP.]

[Fade to dark gray. Text: In theaters soon.]

[Timer appears below, labeled "Unpause begins in:" 4:13 (counts down)]


End file.
